The sun is shining slowly.
The engine is running mystically.
The rocks are, gently.
The trees are growing cruelly.
The book is lying swiftly.
The floor is burning stoicly.
The cat is crying perfectly.



There was a woman who went to a great Zen master near where she lived,
hearing that he had a  recipe for stew which  was of high renown.  She
asked him to teach her   to make this  stew  which was so famous.   He
agreed, and began listing off ingredients which  she must have to make
the stew.  He then  told her, "Combine all  the ingredients in a large
bowl, then put these two  back," holding up  the cilantro and  ginger.
Looking puzzled, she asked, "If I mix the ingredients in the bowl, how
can I take them out again?"  He nodded and said,  "It is not stew that
I am feeding you."  Many years later, she was enlightened.

	If all things are mixed up
	No one can separate them
	If one person is mixed up
	She will not be helped



I had a dream  that I was trying to  get  undressed to  go to bed.   I
would take off  my clothes,  and find that  they were  still on, so  I
would  try again.   Over  and over, I  removed  my clothes, each  time
finding that they  were still there.  Eventually,  I woke up and found
that I was  sleeping in  my clothes. I  guessed that  I subconsciously
knew that I had my clothes on, and this is why my dream self could not
truly remove  them.  Somewhat bemused, I  woke up again, thinking that
it was for real this time.

   How many times must we disrobe to find the real self ?
   How many times must we wake up to find the real self ? 
   How many times must we fall asleep to find the real self ?
   How many times must we find the real self ?



What is the sensation of thinking?
What is the sensation of not thinking?



One day, a law  was passed which required  that anyone who was  a liar
must be arrested.  When she heard about this, a student of zen said to
the local constable, "I am a liar. You will arrest me now." He said to
her in reply, "I do not  believe you."  "If you do  not believe what I
say, then you must think I am lying."  He arrested himself also.



I was  at  the airport,  checking in  at  the gate, when   the airport
employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in  your baggage without your
knowledge?"

I said, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?"

He smiled and nodded knowingly, "That's why we ask."



A student of Zen asked a museum security guard how old the dinosaur
bones were.  The guard counted quickly on his fingers and said,

"Ninety million and six years."



What is the sound of one hand failing to clap?



The central tenet   of Zen is to   achieve  a feeling  of  superiority
through  a false sense  of enlightenment.  This statement is precisely
why it is worthy of our respect, admiration, and study.



Does the idea of buddha-nature have the budda-nature?



While at an art museum,  a student of Zen  named Ben saw a large piece
of plywood with a single splash of paint upon  it.  "Faugh!  They call
this art?" he asked.  His  teacher responded, "Look closer."  The wood
was  not wood, but a  painting of wood  grain  on canvas.  When he saw
this, he was enlightened.

	The reality we are
	is not the reality we see.

	Would it have been less beautiful
	had it been wood after all?



Sometimes, when I'm alone in my house, I turn on  the TV.  And I don't
really mean to, but I watch it.  It's attractive -- it's the brightest
and most colorful thing in the house, and it has lots of motion.  It's
so bright and colorful, that  my life seems a  little drab and sterile
by comparison.

So I turn off my TV.  I go do something else.  
And my whole life gets brighter, more exciting, more colorful.

	KILL YOUR TELEVISION.





magnus@alum.mit.edu